Bretton Curtis - TOBS Staff
"No bad days" what does it really mean? Does it mean that nothing will ever challenge you? No. It means you have decided to no longer view anything that happens to you as bad. It is after all a choice. Given there are some circumstances that you may believe were unfairly handed to you and that there is no other way to look at them as bad. This is how we end up in what's called a Negative Feedback-Loop.
Negative feedback-loop example
What is a Negative Feedback-Loop?
Being positive or negative is a choice. We may not like to admit it but we have to agree that we are in control here or we will believe that we aren't. It's like driving a car and knowing where you want to go but you let a negative person in the backseat control where you drive and you end up going where the negative person wanted to go. The backseat driver in this situation is you, just as a separate negative person. This person cannot feel joy or happiness or love because they are negative, angry or jealous. This is a dangerous road to go down because when you feed your subconscious this "poison" it simply takes it and carries out orders you send down without question. Your conscious, decided thoughts are the captain of the ship, the subconscious is like the crew, carrying out orders without questioning the captain. This creates a negative feedback loop. When you tell yourself you can't do something, your subconscious believes you and ensures that you don't! Luckily the opposite is true as well. It all comes down to choice.
When you make the choice and decide that something is negative, you will only ever see the negative. Your thoughts are like clothes in the dryer, going around and around in your mind, when you decide something is bad, you will only see the bad. You will assume from now on that what is happening to you is bad and you will refuse to see the good in anything because you are stuck in this low frequency. Where your mind is at now is a result of what you thought in the past. But remember, you're in control.
How to Control It
Remember what were feeling now is the result of what we fed our subconscious in the past. So while it may not immediately override 100% of your negative mindset, eventually you can start feeding yourself good thoughts that will start spinning in with the negative until the negative is so diluted with positive thoughts that they start cycling and multiplying just like the negative did to get you here.
Instead of saying "why is this happening to me" instead think "what is this teaching me"
This process takes a rhetorical question (used to to persuade and encourages the listener to agree) that is negative, and turns it into genuine curiosity (a real question that has an solution). The opposite of rhetorical would be simple, straightforward. Curiosity is a precursor to creativity,
-think about the last time you were in a creative state, were you feeling jealousy, angry or hatred of any kind? No, because you simply can't! Creation is what brings us joy.
When you start really thinking about what your problem is and how to solve it you will change your mindset and start actively working on a solution. Finding the solution to a problem feels good! When you associate solving your own problems with feeling good, you will seek out and ultimately find the answers you're looking for.
How to Get Started On Your Path of Positive Thinking
-Cut out negative people in your life. If it's someone at work, tell them that you are working on your positivity and cannot go on being influenced by their negativity. If your friends are negative people, find reasons to avoid spending too much time around them. Negativity can be contagious when you first start on the path and it's too easy to be pulled off by a negative friend.
-Add in positive people. Think of a person that is more successful, or just generally more happy, someone that you want to be more like and try to put yourself in more situations where you can talk to them and be around them.
-Cut out negative habits. If you struggle with addiction with food, drugs, alcohol, social media, you need to do whatever it takes to break that. You can't be in a positive state and be controlled by something external.
-Add in positive habits. Exercise, diet, reading, hydration can all get us into a better mood and help further reinforce the positive mindset. Think of these tools as armor, protecting you from harmful negativity. Adding positive habits will also help get you around more positive minded people. Going to the gym, jiu jitsu, a dancing class, chess club, book clubs, whatever, can get you around more positive mindset people. Meeting these people and putting yourself around them often will also help hold you more accountable when you're not around them because you will want to impress them with your progress the next time you see them.